Since When is “Is That All I Need to Do?” Not Clear?

Errrrrggggg, Argggggg, Grrrrr….What is sending me into fits of onomatopoeia?  I hate to be a cliché, but, it’s the permitting process.  I know everyone complains about dealing with bureaucracy and it’s a bit boring, but I’m going to add my pity to the party.  A week and a half ago, my contractor, the intrepid Arnold, went down to the building permit office, filled out the required paperwork and asked the above question, “Is that all I need to do?” 

“Oh yeah, totally, all you need to do.  You’re done; just wait 5 to 7 days.”

5 days pass; Arnold gives them a call and gets the answer, “It’s in process.” 

That’s perfectly fine.  We’re still in that 5 to 7 window. 

So, today, 12 days later, he goes down to raise some Cain, and they give him a list of about 4 more things he’s supposed to produce to get the permit!!!  What?  Huh?  Doesn’t that kind of fall under an answer to the question we asked you about 2 weeks ago?  To every question and protest he mounts, he gets this illuminating response: “I don’t know.”  Ah, Bartleby the Scrivener is alive and well. 10 points if you get that reference.  10 points towards what?  I don’t know.

To top it off, part of what we still need to do falls under the jurisdiction of the historic resources commission; Montford is a historic district after all.  I’m on board with this.  I know they don’t want me erecting some McMansion-ey Tuscan atrocity in the middle of Arts and Crafts central, but when you look at the disrepair the house had fallen into, you just want to ask “Where were these people when the windows were breaking and the dogs were chewing through the doors?”  It’s sort of how I feel when I pull away from paying to get my relatively new car inspected and see an ancient clunker spewing opaque, black exhaust in its wake.  For some inexplicable reason, the clunker doesn’t have to pass inspection.  What are you gonna do?  Fill out the forms and wait wait wait.