You’ve taken back the night…You’ve taken back your streets…and now I’m going to take back my backyard. Why? Because my name is not Sanford and I do not have a son.
Not me…yet.
Here’s a current inventory of the detritus outside my backdoor:
· * Leaves dating from fall 2007.
· * Dog poop.
· * A pile of stained, shredded carpet tiles that ironically, will figure prominently in my upcoming magazine feature (in their former incarnation as actual carpet tiles on an actual floor).
Carpet tiles in better days.
· * Dog poop.
· * A pair of running shoes worn during poison ivy extraction and thereby thoroughly irradiated.
· * A plastic headband (I have no idea how this ended up there, I don’t wear a lot of headbands in my backyard).
· * A dog bed that no dog has used.
· * Dog poop.
· * An open trashcan of moldy bird seed.
· * Two pans that the dogs had a go at after I couldn’t clean the scrambled eggs that were shellacked to the bottom of it.
· * Dog poop….why o why o why can’t dog poop have the same magical qualities as chicken, goat, horse or cow manure? This, I think, is one of the proofs that we live in a fallen world.
II I don’t know why I haven’t brought myself to actually throwing these things away. I’m sort of like that husband who abandons his dirty dishes on the counter right above the open dishwasher. I think partly it’s because it would be an admission that I somehow failed those running shoes and carpet tiles by not protecting them from dog or poison ivy. A living (well, actually inanimate) embodiment of a failure to follow through. O my word, it sounds like I need a one-way ticket to therapy…it’s getting uncomfortable here, n’est-ce pas?
So, this morning, I made baby steps. The pans have been bleached, boiled and buffed. Some leaves have been raked and some poop has been scooped. I’m keeping expectations low for progress – I have to protect my self esteem.
I have a vision though….a reason to dream.
I think I’ve tooted this ladies horn before on my blog, but it’s worth doing again because I find her utterly inspirational. Her blog is www.theartofdoingstuff.com and she did this to her backyard:
Now, she’s the first to admit that she practically killed herself in the process and, let’s face it, she doesn’t have some of my challenges…namely two dogs. So, I’m setting my sights a little lower.
When I first moved into my house, sans dogs, my sister and I went to a snazzy nursery and spent untold amounts of money on enough plants to cramp a green thumb. Ten years later, these plants are a distant memory and I have to come to terms with the fact that any landscaping in my future has got to take four-legged beasts into account (and I don’t mean of the gentle feline variety).
I think I’ve arrived at the perfect solution for this. Clean up and mulch or gravel the bulk of the yard and go vertical with the plants.
Step one….replace my standard issue vertical slat econo fence with this (courtesy of www.heavypetal.ca) :
Nice clean backdrop for these babies:
These magical gardens are comprised of something called wooly pockets. My preference would be for the wooly pockets to be accompanied by the pool, but for now, that might not be feasible.
My idea would be to have a nice grouping of these wooly pockets in the center of the back fence (away from peeing dogs), flanked by potted trees in some cool, simple planters.
We’ll see if the money tree I planted recently in my front yard allows me to bring this plan to fruition come this spring….somehow I doubt it. But, if this inspiration can see me through to at least keep my cookware from fossilizing in my backyard, it’s worth it to dream.
Have any of y’all come up with good strategies to make a cool garden coexist with bad dogs? I’d love to see some pics!
